so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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