If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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