My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
