after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
