sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
