If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
