Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
