there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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