i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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