she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You took a bar mat shot.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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