I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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