Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
