u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
