Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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