the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
