when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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