So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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