yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
