Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
