Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
