She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
