He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
