Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
