JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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