No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
