He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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