your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
