Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
