i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
