I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize