WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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