youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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