All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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