Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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