um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
