So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably