Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
