I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
