Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize