I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
