is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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