Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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