Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
