can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
