why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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