No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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