her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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