Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
