The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
