why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
