Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
