the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
