I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Text me some of your sweat
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
