So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
