Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize