where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
