Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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