either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
