I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
