i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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