you guys were way drunker than both of me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
