you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We don't watch enough power rangers
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
