i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
