if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
